Saturday, July 10, 2010

Answering ... motherhood

MER asked, "What surprised you most about being a Mom? What's the hardest part and what's the most rewarding?"

I think the instantaneous bond that I felt with my children surprised me the most. I had no idea that I could feel the love that I feel for my children. I was never one of those crazy baby people. I've always liked babies, but I didn't grow up around lots of babies, didn't ogle stranger's babies in the grocery, but when I first held them, something shifted in me that I still can't truly describe.

The hardest part ... Well, the early stages before they were sleeping through the night was definitely hard. Now, it's truly a blur and I honestly don't remember how difficult it was, or how sleep deprived we were. We had a system, we put the babies on a schedule, and we just kind of powered through it. I have some hard days now. Two at two is hard. Heck, I guess one at two would be hard, and I'm sure two at three will also be hard, but there are days when you have tantrums, or screeching, or you've just gotten hit with the Elmo phone for the 2nd time, and I want to lose it. I'm not proud to admit that I've lost my cool and yelled when it wasn't necessary, but I've done it. I've also walked out of the room during screaming and gone back in 5 minutes when I could better handle it. There are days that I'm glad I work, but there are days that I look forward to Friday (when I typically don't work) and we can have special outings together.

The most rewarding parts for me comes in little snippets throughout the days, weeks, months, and years. Lately, it's been when I'm walking Maddy down the stairs and she asks, "where sister?" because Libby was already downstairs, but she didn't know where she was. Or when Libby gives me a kiss when I ask, or when Maddy's upset and Libby brings her a toy to make her feel better, or when you can hold a freshly bathed, PJ'ed, damp curly haired child in your lap and read a book about meerkats, monkeys, and giraffes and adore the interaction. Or asking them 8 different animals and they get them all right. Or seeing your husband hold/play with your child and see a different kind of love that is so endearing. Those are some of the best moments for me.


Kelly said...

So sweet! I'm going to need a lot of advice and words of wisdom!

Miche said...

This is a great post simply because you admit you aren't perfect.

Did you guys just pick a schedule for the girls or use one of the many books out there?

Also, how strict with it were you? Like if you had plans to do something did you opt out to stay on schedule?

We scheduled our c/s yesterday and yea I'm in panic mode a little :)