“The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new.” - Rajneesh.
So true. I really had no idea how I would react to being a mother. While I always knew I wanted children, I wasn't one of those women who was baby-crazy for years prior to getting pregnant. When the time was right and it happened, I was thrilled, but I still had 33 weeks and 2 days of apprehension about what kind of mother I would be.
I do remember getting to hold Maddy the night she was born and something changed in me. I don't know how to explain it, but I felt something shift. Her small, warm body just fit on my chest and I think I could have stayed like that forever. Almost equally as hard as leaving both of my babies in the NICU when I was discharged from the hospital, I couldn't hold Libby the first night she was born as she was hooked up to a CPap machine.
Some days, I still wonder what kind of mother I am. I strive to be good, kind, caring, funny, compassionate, honest, and loving. Some days, I think I'm doing well to achieve one of those qualities each day, and some days I feel like I'm just getting by with the basics in a day. But, when bedtime rolls around, and I say goodnight to two sweet little girls, I know that there is no better job in this world than being a Mother.
So, Happy Mother's Day to all of the Mom's out there. Today, I'm thinking about my Mom in particular. I have wonderful memories of racing down the grocery store aisles with my Mom pushing the cart and me riding, weekly trips to our library and being allowed to check out as many books as I could take, Mom's grilled cheese sandwiches, homemade applesauce, and chocolate chip cookies, Christmas mornings, and seeing my Mom the night Maddy and Libby were born.
I'm also thinking about three special friends who have had to deal with the loss of a child, the loss of a Mom, and the hope of becoming a Mom. A, J, and K, you are in my thoughts today!
Mother's Day 2010
Maddy was ready to pose.
Keeping it real with Libby. Not interested in photos. At all.