Tuesday, February 16, 2010

I feel like

I'm writing about anything, everything, and nothing simply because I don't want to have to write what I need to write about.

My Mom has breast cancer.

It's all happened so fast that all of us are still spinning.

Back in early January, my Mom had a rash on her hand so she called her Doctor to get a prescription filled. He wouldn't fill it without seeing her, so off she went. Thank you, Dr. Sussman.

While she was being examined, he noticed a lump in her underarm and sent her in for a mammogram.

My Mom has always been healthy, but has also been one to not go to her appointments like she should.

So she went and while they determined that the lump was just fatty tissue, they did find find some abnormalities during the mammogram. So, she had a biopsy, and they found cancer in her left breast.

This was at the point when she finally told me and she was very nonchalant about the whole thing. She was just glad to know what it was and that it was treatable, that there was a solution.

So, the solution is a lumpectomy to remove the cancer and lymph nodes, followed with radiation and chemotherapy.

It sucks and it's scary, and we all still can't believe that it's happened. To my Mom. I know that is how every other person who finds out that their parent has a serious illness feels.

She honestly sounds OK. She's more concerned with finding a good front closure sports bra to wear after surgery, wondering whether or not my Dad is going to overcook her chicken for dinner, or if she can find a wig that won't make her look like Dolly Parton.

I'm not going for the actual surgery, which is tomorrow and I am feeling guilty about that. Luckily my Dad and the rest of my family are there. I'm planning to go in a couple of weeks so I can help out and do whatever they need.

It's scary and while we've always said that she's tough, it's just not what you want to see your Mom go through.
To my friends in real life, I'm sorry I couldn't say anything ... I just didn't know where to start or what to say. It honestly hasn't felt real and still doesn't. The surgery is tomorrow and she should be home by 5pm. She'll find out more about radiation and chemotherapy tomorrow and we're all just hoping and praying for her Dr.'s and that the cancer is truly in an early stage.

I have always believed that prayers are private and something that you can do by yourself any time of day or night, but it's been rare that I've had to ask for people to pray for me or my family. Now I'm asking if you do pray, please consider sending up good thoughts for my Mom.

31 comments:

KatieSPerk said...

I am thinking about your Mom. I hope everything goes as well as possible tomorrow.

Some Like it Southern said...

I am so sorry that you and your family are having to deal with this. I will keep your mom in my prayers! xoxo

LauraC said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I can't even imagine what you and your family have been going through.

I will definitely be praying for your mom and also for you.

Suzanne said...

Thinking of you and your mom and sending along lots of prayers and well wishes.

Suzanne said...

Thinking of you and your mom and sending along lots of prayers and well wishes.

capegirlindc said...

I am so sorry to hear this news. I couldn't imagine learning this about my mom either - I don't think anyone ever can. I will certainly be thinking good thoughts. Keep us posted- if you can. I will be hoping for the best.

Libby said...

Susan, our thoughts and prayers are with you and your mom. Love, Lib

Goddess in Progress said...

S, how scary! Sounds like your mom is way stronger than that stupid cancer and will kick its ass. Go, mom!

Don't sweat the timing of your visit. It's hard to not be able to be there for everything when you live away from family. But you're going at a time when you can be most useful, not to mention spend some quality time. Good call.

Emily said...

Your family is in my prayers! Let me know if you need anything.

Jessi said...

I'll definitely say an extra prayer today and will be thinking of you. My mom, while she does not have a serious illness, is the same way. Very nonchalant, telling me after the fact. (Like just the other day when she told me she spent 2 hours in the ER for a rapid heart rate. No big deal, didn't want to worry you...but we do worry about our moms because where would we be without them). I'll be thinking of you and sending happy thoughts your way.

Kelly said...

I will def. be praying for your Mom and the rest of your family during this difficult time.

J said...

I am so sorry. I'll be thinking of you and your Mom! I hope all goes well today.

The Ross Family said...

I'm sorry to hear about your mom. My dad has had a rare form of cancer twice and has beat it both times! The key to his success, besides the support of family and friends was his own positive attitude. It seems as if your mom is being very positive throughout everything. I'll say a prayer for her, and you. It is hard to see your parent go through something like this.

Randall @ Happy For This Moment said...

I'll certainly me thinking of her during surgery tomorrow!

Miche said...

Oh Susan I'm so sorry :( My thoughts and prayers will be with all of you today and over the next few months as she goes through this.

((Big Hugs)) to you guys. Let me know please if there is anything I can do. I can even watch the girls if you need!

Lilian said...

Silend reader here sending hugs and prayers your way.

Barefoot in the Park said...

i will certainly add her to my list. sending the best your way.

Jillian, Inc said...

I am so vry, very sorry to hear about your mom. And I do pray. And I will lift you ALL up in prayer. I can only imagine how hard this must be for you.

USCEmily said...

Sending up prayers that the surgery went well today and the prognosis is good for your mom!

NatalieDeltaGam said...

oh, gosh, i am SO SORRY!! your mom sounds a lot like me...i could "handle" my cancer just fine, but the rest of my family? they were devestated. i'm sending you guys lots and lots of prayers. my one piece of advice (and feel free to totally disregard b/c it's probably the last thing you want right now)... "pamper her, but don't baby her" (that's what always got to me when everyone started treating me like a child).
love to you all!!!

Muffy's Bestie said...

I am so sorry to hear about your Mom and hope she is on her way to recovering and becoming 100% healthy again.

amanda said...

Susan, I'm so sorry to hear about your mom! I will certainly keep all of you in my prayers!

Northern Girl Southern Living said...

I'll say a prayer for you and your mom. You're in my thoughts!

lisagh said...

All my love and support, dear SZD. I have been where you are and I'm always here if you have any questions or just want someone to talk to. xoL

I'm Just Beachy said...

Saying prayers for your mom and your family. I know how tough doesn't begin to describe it all as my family went through breast cancer with my mom.

RED said...

Please know I'm thinking of you and I'll include your entire family in my prayers. It's emotionally exhausting - the worry - I do know, I've been there (my dad was a cancer survivor!) - but you will be just fine. Stay positive. It is a tough subject to talk about but I think it's good to have it out there. I'm sure you feel better. It's healthy to share and not at all a pity party. You have to talk. I'm thinking of you. xo

Maggie said...

I only read your blog occasionally, so I just learned of your mom's cancer. Prayers ascending now! I pray for her healing and your reassurance.

k e r r y said...

I hope your mom is OK - you're in my thoughts...

Kim said...

It was very courageous of you to share your news. It's a difficult thing to talk about something so private. I had a tough time sharing the same news about my mother as well. But it's out and it makes it easier to lean on friends now. I hope it's easier for you now. I'll certainly be praying for your mother, your family, the doctors and for strength.

The Preppy Wedding said...

So, so sorry to hear this. Sending lots of good thoughts to you and your momma!

dmmlandcruiser said...

Thank goodness for that rash! Hoping that she has a very easy recovery and stays strong and healthy!